Touchy

So, the marathon is on Sunday. I am not the only person who knows this. People keep asking me how I feel, if I'm "ready," if I think I'll finish. I always respond with something generic to these questions, but what I really want to do is scream. I mean, the people who send nice notes to wish me luck and tell me I'll be great are super nice, it's the "are you ready?" question that sends me over the edge.

"I don't know, OKAY?! I don't freaking know!!! I don't know if I'm ready, I guess we'll all find out on Sunday, WON'T WE?! I don't know if I'll finish - I freaking want to, and I trained to, but maybe I'll die instead. NEXT TIME YOU ARE NEARING MY DESK, JUST KEEP WALKING OKAY?!"

I can't even describe what I'm feeling right now as nervous excitement. I am sort of angry - at myself - for signing on to do something so challenging and then being so PUBLIC about it. I had to raise money, so I had to be public, but what I really want to do right now is sit in a dark corner by myself with my bundle of nerves. NOTHING TO SEE HERE PEOPLE. I WILL LET YOU KNOW HOW IT ALL WENT WHEN I AM FINISHED, UNLESS I DON'T FINISH IN WHICH CASE YOU MUST PRETEND YOU NEVER KNEW I WAS DOING THIS, OKAY?